At the moment I'm looking for what we in Sweden call a "sladdjavel" to be able to put the video of Sara doing her vocal exercises online. I'm keeping my calm by listening to La Roux, I had forgotten how much I like her weird music. Listening to her "I'm not your toy" has got me thinking about something that struck me in meeting and trying to impress new people during the business conference last week.
I really am going to try to never never (forever ever? forever ever) play my femininity as a strategic card again. On the one adamantly waving hand I'd like to think we don't have to care about these things; we all portray and present ourselves as we want to, there shouldn't be and do's and don'ts. But, with the intention to generalize, I just can't help thinking men are so primitive sometimes. It makes me angry with myself that I know the President of company blablabla will take the time to talk to me if I send the signal that I am a pleasant and attractive female. It doesn't necessarily nullify my intelligence, but it pushes it down to an ill-deserved second place. If I hate feeling objectified, I certainly have to stop objectifying myself when it suits my momentary interest. Whilst I think we do it because we know it works and it is very empowering, it really isn't intelligent in the long run.
I'll hit myself hard the next time I catch myself flipping my hair or smiling like I was in a toothpaste ad to charmingly catch the attention of someone. Why would I go out of my way to exhibit my physical attributes when I want to be valued for my mental ones? No, this time baby, I'll be bulletproof.
Word.
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